“I know JR said ‘make it bigger’, but I prefer my circle small”. I saw this tweet from a good friend of mine and immediately felt the need to 1. ‘Favourite Tweet’, 2. ‘Retweet’, and 3. Reply to it with an “aiiich!’”, which I assume is the South African version of “PREACH!”

Once you reach your mid-20s, you realize the importance of only associating yourself with like-minded individuals; people who share similar goals to yours, people whose vision and mantra are aligned with what you would like to achieve in your own life. This sounds like an easy thing to accomplish – on paper – the reality however, is completely different. You see, not everyone in your life is useful, and it is at this point that you might have to burn a bridge or two. It’s a necessary evil. More so if you want to become a successful somebody.

The problem with making certain changes in your life and cutting all ties with the unnecessary “riff raff” i.e. toxic relationships in your life is that most of them are going to take it personally. You run the risk of being accused of acting “brand new” (stuck up, or suddenly thinking you’re better than the people you hung out with before things worked out in your favour).

“The closer you get to excellence in your life, the more friends you’ll lose. People love you when you’re average because it makes them comfortable. But when you pursue greatness, it makes people uncomfortable. Be prepared to lose some people on your journey.” – Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

While the saying “never break bread with people you never starved with” may be true to some degree, you need to assess the relationships you have and decide whether they influence your existence in a positive way or nay. If all you and your long-time girlfriend ever do is entertain superficial gossip, post nude selfies on Instagram, and extort money from “tenderpreneurs” and the like; then you might want to reassess your allegiance.

I’m not saying that the transition will be painless or comfortable, change rarely is. You will piss a lot of people off in the process (and they probably weren’t genuine towards you in the first place), but this isn’t about them. It’s about you. Repeat after me: “Not one drop of my self-worth depends on their acceptance of me or my choices”.

 

Onique

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