heartbreakSo,
Getting over you is taking longer than I anticipated.
Here I am, still haunted by thoughts of you
I tried, in vain, to filter them out by consuming excessive amounts of potent liquor
But in my drunken stupor, I’d find myself fiending for the feeling only you can provide instead
A second has not passed where I have not missed you
Despite all my efforts, here I am, defying my sanity and muting my pride by contacting you
The proverbial “cure and the cause” of my melancholy
I crave you, in every essence of the word
And it frustrates me knowing I cannot have you
Merely because we are toxic for each other
My guilt overwhelms me
Cos I’d rather have you fucking me right now instead of having to admit how much I fucked up
So consider this my way of stealing the closure you tried to rob me of
And I desperately hope you’ll force yourself to forgive me someday
Know this,
I meant to love you,
But now I’m compelled to love you at a distance
To relive the passion we indulged in,
With vivid imagery, alone
.
This will be my self-inflicted punishment until I can endure it no more.

Love always,
Paballo

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