Telling someone you’ve established a solid friendship with that you now desire something more from them than a mere platonic companionship isn’t easy; more so if you have been friends for several years. It is said that true friendship is about as rare and as sacred as true love, but unlike the former, what one individual may interpret as love, may not be reciprocated by another. And this is where it gets messy.
Why it is so difficult
As mentioned before, while you may be longing for a more intimate relationship with your pal, they may not have the same feelings towards you and admitting your feelings for them may put substantial strain on the friendship that has been established. The feeling of uncertainty about what the outcome might be can create an inherent fear that may make it difficult to be comfortable around them as you are constantly battling with your emotions.
Be Honest With Yourself
Unfortunately, being human sometimes involves being unable to control how you feel so don’t allow guilt to set in. You are not at fault, but you can decide on how to carefully handle the situation by evaluating the pros and cons of “coming out” and determining whether or not the stakes are worth it.
Get their Perspective on Things
Without being too obvious, try to get where their position on the matter is – preferably by asking them questions during a casual conversation, and finding out how they feel about you and if they have ever wondered what a romantic relationship with you would be like.
While rejection may be of major concern to you; should you decide to come clean about your feelings to them, and they are unable to reciprocate, they on the other hand may feel betrayed and deceived and that sort of environment may cause feelings of resentment, thus potentially damaging your friendship permanently.
Step Out of the “Friend Zone”
In an article titled ‘Escape the Friend Zone: From Friend to Girlfriend or Boyfriend’, Jeremy Nicholson suggests that you become less interested and prepared to walk away if the other person isn’t willing to give you the kind of relationship you desire with them. It is a difficult thing to have to do, but it enables you to keep your pride intact, more especially if you are left feeling undervalued.
Understand that being stuck in the friend zone is a decision or action that one decides to actively partake in. It is essential that your intentions are made clear from the very beginning and that boundaries are clearly communicated to prevent what is commonly referred to as “catching feelings syndrome”. If you do not want to be viewed as someone’s brother or sister, it is essential that you do not put up with the farce for longer than what’s necessary, as the other party cannot be at fault for your own hidden agendas; nor can they be blamed for what transpires next. For more information on how to escape the “friend zone”, click here.
- Have you ever been friend-zoned? Share your experience with me on the comment section below.